Would you be mad if a baby started screaming and crying during the exchanging of your vows? I for one know that I would be absolutely pissed. That why I’m going to specifically request that all children under the age of five be left at home during the ceremony. I will allow them at the reception.
How would you feel?
Well all I can say is it’s my wedding and I’ll request what I want. If the parents are offended I guess they won’t come.
The best part is that I’m not even engaged 
So all of you who are calling me a bridezilla are jumping at the gun a bit.
April 27th, 2010 at 3:55 AM
id be so furious i would sacrifice that baby in the name of satan
April 27th, 2010 at 4:43 AM
Me, I could care less. I had about 6 kids 3 and under at my wedding. I told people to bring there children if they wanted to.
But, it is your wedding, so if you don’t want a screaming child during your vows, thats your choice
April 27th, 2010 at 5:14 AM
some churches have a room for screaming babies.
you may be insulting people, however; that does seems reasonable to me. I wouldn’t want any crazy distractions either.
April 27th, 2010 at 5:22 AM
Only if the parents didn’t leave quickly.
Children over 5 can throw temper tantrums and act up. Good luck barring people’s babies and having them want to celebrate with you
April 27th, 2010 at 6:00 AM
Honestly I wouldn’t. Babies cry and that’s a fact of life that you can’t change. Most parents do know how to calm their children. If you are getting married in a church, most of them have cry rooms for parents to sit with their children and still be able to see and hear the service.
Why do you feel that if they ruin your ceremony for you that they won’t do the same at the reception? It is extremely inconvenient, not to mention impossible, unless you have a huge gap which people hate with a passion, to leave the children at home for the ceremony and then run home to get them for the reception. If parents have to leave them at home for one event, they will leave them with a sitter for both. What you are requesting is unreasonable and irrational.
April 27th, 2010 at 6:31 AM
The end of the church could have been bombed and I wouldn’t have noticed during my vows….in that moment, it was just me and my future husband.
I probably would have said that it bothered me prior to getting married, but when you are there, your priorities change!
April 27th, 2010 at 7:28 AM
Good parents keep their children quiet and remove them if they start to cry. Happy brides don’t hear a thing from 2 ft behind where they are standing at the altar.I have attended weddings where someone fainted during the ceremony and the bride and groom didn’t even notice! You are stressing out about things you can not control. If you have a long ceremony and someone has a baby who starts to cry and the mom is too silly to leave the church, an usher should be prepared to quietly walk over and offer to help her leave for a few minutes. That’s the polite way to handle the situation. I’ve attended about 3 weddings a year for the past 40 years and can honestly say that a wailing child was disruptive for only one of those weddings – and it was the 2 year old of the bride and groom who, of course, insisted that the child be present and no amount of cuddling from grandma could shut him up. People laughed, the Priest chuckled and the groom went over, picked the kid up and held him for the rest of the ceremony. That’s life. As for the reception, that’s more likely where little terrors will act up. Who cares! Just smile and remember what’s important that day.
April 27th, 2010 at 8:05 AM
oh my goodness no of course not!! my hubby and i would laugh about it!!
April 27th, 2010 at 8:17 AM
I understand your reasoning, but since you’re asking how I would deal with this situation, I will tell you… I have a 1-yr-old and a 3-yr-old (both very well-behaved by the way) and I would probably have to skip the ceremony if that was requested. It would be a hassle to secure a babysitter and then have to run around after the ceremony to get the kids dressed and get everyone to the reception on time.
Hmmmm…… Would it be possible to instead set up a “childcare room” at the church/facility where you’re being married at? That way, the parents are not inconvenienced for wanting to attend your ceremony. You could ask your friends and family members’ for the numbers of their babysitters, and hire a couple of them to man your childcare room. Problem solved. Maybe the hired sitters can even help out at the reception so the parents can relax and mingle.
April 27th, 2010 at 8:55 AM
Wouldn’t bother me one bit. It would probably make me laugh…
Its what babies do.
Now if a grown adult does it, we may have some issues
…bridezilla….
April 27th, 2010 at 9:04 AM
Yes. My fiancé’s grandma is just like “that’s what babies do”, of course that’s what they do which is why I’m providing a babysitter for during the ceremony for children under 5yrs old. I’m lucky that if the parent wants to stay with the child they can still see and hear everything that’s going on because the nursery is sound proof at our church and has a glass window and a speaker hook up. I’m like you I’m sorry if someone is offended but they should see it from my point of view, this is the most important day of my life (until I have kids, which I would understand keeping a small child out of something so important)! Also my flower girl will be over 5yrs old (she’s
so it’s not like I’m being a hypocrite.
During the reception is fine because it’s going to be a semi-casual thing. Where there will be lots of noise.
April 27th, 2010 at 9:09 AM
Truth be told, no it wouldn’t
I love, love,love kids. I want my family to be there!
You seem very young in the “well they don’t like , they don’t have to come “bit. Being a parent might mean that the people that you really want to attend won’t be able to because they don’t have a babysitter!
April 27th, 2010 at 9:54 AM
Not in particular, but I’m the type who’d invite the whole family, including all the kids.
It’s entirely reasonable and very common to request that children don’t come. Many weddings are adult-only events. However, if you really expect the kids to attend the reception, your best bet is going to be to hire a sitter (or sitters) to take care of all of the kids during the ceremony. The parents can’t just leave the kids in the car during the ceremony, and going back home to get them between events isn’t reasonable.
April 27th, 2010 at 10:23 AM
Good question! Babies incessantly crying because the parent is so concerned about the child’s feelings they become narcissistic about it to the point to where they have NO concern about anyone else, and thus they don’t excuse themselves with the child are annoying and rude as hell!
If you know anyone like that, don’t invite them! On the other hand, if you know a parent to be quick to excuse themselves, then you should consider them; after all, they’re family/friends, and when you have a baby it can be so difficult to have any kind of social life whatsoever, and they should get to see you make your vows with your guy. With parents who are considerate of others, if baby goes WAAAHHHH right when the vows are about to be exchanged, it can be laughed off, and just continue! Maybe the baby objects to the marriage LOL
It’s not the baby; it’s the parents!!!
April 27th, 2010 at 10:45 AM
oh, i would be livid. we are having a private ceremony, but the couple that we want to be there have a 4 year old daughter….most people would think i would want her to be the flowergirl..NO..she is NOT invited. during their ceremony less than a year ago, she did nothing but say ‘mommy’ the whole time. i am paying enough for this damn ceremony, nobody’d better ruin it. i would be sooooo pissed. you only get married once (at least, that’s my goal) and we are paying to have it video taped. it needs to go the way WE want it to go or someone is gonna have to dish out some cash.
April 27th, 2010 at 11:28 AM
Amanda, when I married my husband 31 years ago this May, we were married in a Justice of the Peace office with just his secretary and receptionist as witnesses. My husband and I didn’t have two nickels to rub together and we both came from hellaciously broken families with no chance to have any kind of wedding ceremony.
Didn’t matter, it was still the best day of my life because I married the love of my life. Screaming babies? Bring ‘em on. It does not matter. Heck, if there’s anything going on short of a full-on cardiac arrest among the guests, it shouldn’t matter, because if you’re marrying the love of your life there is nothing in the world that is going to take away from that moment when you are declared to be husband and wife.
Why do so many bridezillas get so lost in the trivia that they lose sight of what is happening? The person who loves you more than anyone else in the world and who you should love just as much is signing on to spend his life with you! That’s what’s important, not the “colors,” or “theme,” or the flowers or favors or gown or attendants or what other people wear or anything else.
I have to wonder how many bridezillas who snarl through gritted teeth that if anything ruins “their day,” it ruins the whole thing and they’ll be enraged for the rest of their lives end up having a long happy marriage. Not very many, I’ll bet, because they haven’t caught on that you don’t sweat the small stuff. And a baby crying during your vows is very, very small stuff indeed.
April 27th, 2010 at 11:29 AM
Hosts have a right to choose what sort of affair they wish to sponsor and who they wish to invite. That said, I foresee some potential problems with your plan. First, your guests will find it very inconvenient to trot home between ceremony and reception to fetch their youngsters. Second, if your ceremony is in a church then you don’t issue invitations, you issue announcements. Since it is God’s House and not your house, then all worshippers are presumed to be welcome for services such as weddings, christenings, and funerals.
I hope things go well.
April 27th, 2010 at 11:58 AM
I don’t blame you at all for not wanting children ages 0 to 4 at your wedding.
There were children at my ceremony/reception ages 7 and up with one exception: There was a mother with her 1 year-old baby. The baby’s grandmother reassured me that if he started crying or acting up, they would carry him out of ear-shot so he wouldn’t disrupt the ceremony. Fortunately, he remained perfectly well-behaved, and even seemed to be enjoying the music at the reception.
April 27th, 2010 at 12:01 PM
No-I’d just make a joke out of it and as a preschool teacher, I can asure you that children over 5 scream too…and are louder…and more likely to cause fits.
I love children though, so that’s just me…
April 27th, 2010 at 12:30 PM
Oh for heaven’s sakes. Pick up your hair ribbons and stop having a temper tantrum. Remember, weddings are all about family – and guess what – children and babies are a part of family.
If you don’t want children to attend your wedding, put it plainly that this will be an adult-only affair. Of course, what do you say about the ring bearer and the flower girl?
You might ease up a little and offer “Au Paire” services in the church nursery and again at the reception. It may cost you a little money – but not a whole boatload of money. Plus, you will look like a much more generous and caring bride than you do right now.
Word of advice: Dear one, you’re looking like a Bridezilla. Be careful before your fiance finds out just how self-centered you can be and runs off to the Bahamas with the chambermaid.
April 27th, 2010 at 12:45 PM
I would have no one to be mad at except myself if I let people bring their babies. There’s no way I would have babies at my wedding.
April 27th, 2010 at 1:14 PM
I had an adults only wedding. I didnt even have a flower girl or ring bearer. I know that is not a popular choice with a lot of people, but my friends and family understood that it was my day. But, honestly I wouldnt have noticed anything I was so nervous standing in front of everyone!
April 27th, 2010 at 1:24 PM
I absolutely agree with your reasoning.
Only children in direct family – as in a brother sister or cousin – can attend the ceremony under the age of 5.
And I would have a word with the family to say if one starts to cry – then they must be taken outside IMEDIATELLY.
It is your wedding – you request what YOU want. Any parent who is offended is an absolute idiot if you ask me.
April 27th, 2010 at 2:02 PM
No I would not be mad. I believe anyone is welcome at a wedding ceremony. The reception is another story.
April 27th, 2010 at 2:30 PM
I won’t lie to you (this is not Miss America). I woul dbe pissed off and furious. That is why many couples choose not to have babies on ceremonies. People do not need the distraction and the annoyance on the day taht you ahve planned forever.
It could be worse though. At a wedding that I attended last summer, a guests cellphone started to ring and ring. Th eguest chose to ignore it and the phone just got louder. The brode was beet red and gave her a dirty look!! then the guest proceeded to get up in the middle of the vows and stell all over the white isle runner (ruining it in the process) and answered the phone and started to talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the bride was so humiliated and everyone was furious.
Good luck
April 27th, 2010 at 3:19 PM
i have a child, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to bring him there anyway. a wedding is an event for adults to celebrate and have fun. i think every wedding should be no kids allowed.
April 27th, 2010 at 3:41 PM
To be honest, I didn’t even notice till we watched the wedding video after. One of the kids cried the whole time but I never heard it – I was so in the moment of the wedding that it felt like it was just me and my husband up there.
April 27th, 2010 at 4:06 PM
I wouldn’t be mad at the baby, I’d be mad at the idiot mother/father who were so rude that they didn’t take the crying baby outside.
I take your point about no kids at the ceremony, but that means lots of your guests won’t come – because there’s no point in going to a 30-minute ceremony, going home, picking up the kids, and coming back for the reception. A better idea for your guests might be to offer childcare in a separate room during the ceremony. Most churches have a “cry room” or a playroom, and can provide you with a qualified person to watch the kids as well.
April 27th, 2010 at 4:31 PM
I’d be ok with it. My nephews are going to be my ring bearers, and they’ll be 6 and a half and 4. I know they’re going to do something goofy and I can’t wait to see what it is. My MOH will (hopefully) have a newborn at the time of the wedding, and while she (my friend really wants a girl for her first, and I’m not doing anything to jinx it…lol) will be with her dad, who cares if she starts wailing just as we’re lighting the unity candle or whatever. Her dad will just take her out to the nursery at the church, change her diaper or whatever and come back. No big deal to me.
I don’t blame you for not wanting kids there. You’re right. It’s a matter of personal opinion. I’m sure there’s at least one wedding somewhere every Saturday that doesn’t have kids in attendance.
*ADD* You might want to check into ME’s answer. If your cousin and her husband have a two year old that will be coming with them from out of state, they probably won’t be able to find a sitter in an area that they don’t really know. Also, coming from out of town, it’d be crazy hectic for them to drop the kid off at a sitter before the ceremony, and then back to get them after, especially if they really don’t know the area. You could probably hire a couple of high school girls and pay them $25 each to man the nursery. Trust me, a couple of fifteen year olds would love an extra $25 for a half hour or so of babysitting, plus you’d get your no kids at the ceremony, plus it wouldn’t inconvenience any of your guests.
April 27th, 2010 at 5:15 PM
amanda i understand your thoughts but i have to tell you that you will be so in the moment with your husband that you won’t notice anything going on behind you. at that point all you see is him and all you hear is him. i wouldn’t worry about it if i were you sweetie. besides most parents really are conscientious and will take the child out and calm him/her down.
you will offend people sweetie if you say no kids – just be prepared, i know its your wedding but the odds of a child acting up are slim and you may end up being very hurt if someone refuses to come because you don’t want their kids there. i’m just pointing it out for your consideration – really think about it before you draw that line.
wishing you years of happiness!!!!
April 27th, 2010 at 6:06 PM
There will only be 3 children under the age of 6 at my wedding, and they’re all family (It’s mainly a family affair, everyone else’s children are grown and are at least teenagers if not older). I’m not too worried about it. It’s pointless to worry about all the “what ifs”. If it happens, it happens. Most parents know enough to remove a crying child from a situation like that anyhow.
April 27th, 2010 at 6:58 PM
I would ask anyone with a baby to sit in the back or in the baby cry room. I have the sound of a screaming baby in the background of my wedding tape, very annoying. Have the ushers direct them to where they can sit.
April 27th, 2010 at 7:56 PM
It wouldn’t bother me. Of course, our friends and relatives are sophisticated enough to know that if their baby starts fussing, they should either go to the cry room or take the baby outside. Babies usually start being fussy and work their way up to a full blown scream. They would have removed the baby from the room before the screaming started.
We did the opposite you are doing. It was an adult reception. We told our friends and relatives that they could bring their children to the ceremony. And they did.
April 27th, 2010 at 8:19 PM
The easiest way to handle this would be to provide a place for a “nursery” and have someone to watch the kids during the ceremony. You could put on the invitations “nursery will be provided for small children or children under the age of __” that is what I did. If people don’t understand you don’t want crying babies at your ceremony then they don’t care enough about you to honor your wishes and shouldn’t be there anyway. If you provide a “nursery” then people who could not find a sitter would still be able to come but have somewhere for their children to go. They could get the children after the ceremony and the kids could enjoy the reception.
April 27th, 2010 at 9:16 PM
Yes, I would. That’s why I’m not allowing any parents to bring very small children who can’t sit still for forty-five minutes (at the most!).
No one wants a wailing baby interrupting their moment. I’d turn around and say, “Give the kid his damned Oreo back!”
Oh, but that won’t happen, because they’re not coming. =)